Worst thing anyone ever said to me in bed:
Do you want me to stimulate you manually?
Howzabout you? C'mon, folks. pony up. This ain't no free lunch. No context, please: these things are always more entertaining without it.
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Tuesday, 17 May 2005
Comments
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"How many kids have you had?"
Posted by: Mindy | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 10:55 AM
No, no -- it's okay, it'll get bigger if you keep going.
Posted by: anon | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 12:02 PM
"I'm kinda bored"
Posted by: Meredith | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 12:15 PM
*ardent look*
"I'm on FIRE."
Posted by: Julie | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 01:03 PM
"i'm thinking about dead things."
Posted by: anne | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 01:12 PM
"So, have you ever been, like, tested or anything?"
Posted by: Jess | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 01:26 PM
"I think you're really....special."
Posted by: melissaS | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 02:02 PM
"Are you in yet?"
Posted by: zeno | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 03:00 PM
"i AM in"
Posted by: jenB | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 05:49 PM
"Is it ok if I take this call?"
Posted by: maria | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 08:25 PM
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by: TK | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 08:46 PM
"This doesn't mean we're back together or anything."
Posted by: alice | Tuesday, 17 May 2005 at 10:30 PM
"You know, you're not my last girlfriend."
Posted by: Lisa V | Wednesday, 18 May 2005 at 12:14 AM
LISA! Auuuugghh. That's the capper. He defined himself as well with that one. My ex? (My first ex) Used to call me Queen Melinda the Last.
Posted by: Mindy | Wednesday, 18 May 2005 at 01:23 AM
Your boobs have a faint hint of wanton sag.
Posted by: Lauren | Wednesday, 18 May 2005 at 10:56 AM
At a really exciting moment...
"Maman!"
(he was French but I weren't his mama) - and he was VERY fond of her
blech.
Posted by: penelope | Wednesday, 18 May 2005 at 02:41 PM
"Wow, that's gotta hurt..."
Posted by: JacksJill | Thursday, 19 May 2005 at 12:29 PM
"I hope I don't fart." Real mood killer that one.
Posted by: Ollie | Thursday, 19 May 2005 at 06:58 PM
"Don't take this personally, but I'm feeling kind of nauseous."
Posted by: elswhere | Thursday, 19 May 2005 at 11:55 PM
"You fucking girls are so fucked up."
Posted by: Mindy | Friday, 20 May 2005 at 01:30 AM
To all above: I am humbled by your sharing. It almost makes me wish I remembered such a comment. If I have heard such, thankfully, I seem to have blocked it from recall...
Posted by: Jorja | Friday, 20 May 2005 at 11:17 AM
Okay Mindy, even sadder. I married him.
Posted by: Lisa V | Saturday, 21 May 2005 at 01:08 AM
"that sounds like my husbands car."
Posted by: redclay | Sunday, 22 May 2005 at 11:35 AM
How about these (Jack told me he has either been on one end or another of these tasty treats:
"Do you have a pair of scissors???"
"I'll be right back, I need to go wash this off..."
"Can you take the garbage to the curb...and, on your way back bring me a beer?"
Posted by: JacksJill | Monday, 23 May 2005 at 08:55 PM
OMG this post is going to be immortal. I've been telling everyone about it and we have been DYING with the stories.
I heard this one from someone recently: "Whoops, I dropped my gum in your pubes."
Posted by: Mindy | Tuesday, 24 May 2005 at 01:18 AM