SuspendedAnimation: really, look elsewhere for edifying

If you really have too much time on your hands, you can spend your valuable weekend hours looking at the puerile IM ravings of two obscene women ...

You gotta hand it to Jo—I was feeling sorry for myself (for a change! yes!) and she was trying to cheer me up ...

jo: my poor jilbur.
jill: tell me about it.
jo: may i distract you with ... i don't know, something?
jill: try me.
jo: um...
jo: didja hear about that bill proposed in virginia...
jill: good try!
jo: that women who have miscarriages have to report them to the police within 12 hours?
jill: why was bill in virginia in the first place, though?
jo: class 1 misdemeanor = 12 months in jail and $2500 fine
jo: har har har
jill: and if he could get into her, I don't know why he bothers proposing.
jo: that bill, he does get around.
jo: eeeeew
jill: he's getting the free slices, so why buy the cow?
jo: my mom always used to fuck that one up
jo: she would make up her own homilies:
jill: but I did it on purpose
jo: "you gotta pet the cow if you want the calf!"
jo: i know you did, hon.
jill: that's like alice's mother's bizarre non-stereotypes
jo: my blogiversary is coming up in four days.
jill: how quickly the months have spun by!
jo: me and alice, we are on a similar schedule.
jill: when is mine?
jo: i KNOW!
jo: one minute...
jo: march 9, 2004
jo: <--reference archivist on duty
jill: I loathe you now.
jo: AHAHAHAHAHHA
jo: that's really funny.
jo: no, march 9 is your blogiversary!
jill: ohhh
jo: i am laughing at alice.
jill: I thought it was the date of alice's post
jo: of course now i am laughing at you as well.
jill: no, that's feb 8
jo: like a little italian!
jo: bahahaha.
jo: sorry..."Giuseppe"...ahahahaha
jill: well, writing well is the best revenge, isn't it?
jo: thank you alice, for distilling the good from the terrifying.
jo: also multiple orgasms are good revenge.
jo: wait.
jo: no.
jill: against whom?
jo: an uncaring world.
jill: take that, uncaring world!
jo: ah ah AAAHHHH
jill: aiiiieeaaaaaahhhh
jo: stupid world.
jo: suck it, world.
jill: let's have another!
jo: ha ha, world! eat my fuck!
jill: ah AHH OOOHhhhhhhh
jo: aiiiiiiiieeeeeeahhh OH OH OH god
jill: HARDER
jo: bah ha ha.
jill: okay then
jill: isn't it funny how your orgasm doesn't care if it's something stereotypic to come outta your mouth?
jill: ha, I said 'come'
jo: oh, i was just toning it down for you.
jill: no the 'harder' is what I was referring to
jo: when *I* have an orgasm, I tend to say something intellectually stimulating
jill: yeah, it is SOOO hot when you quote foucault as you get off.
jo: such as, "Are you familiar with the poetry of Mark Strand?"
jill: only foucault would actually be a little bit hot, actually
jill: actually actually
jo: "I find Maya Angelou pedestrian and DUH-HUH-HUUUUULLLLLL oh god yes"
jill: actually only actually foucault actually would actually be actually a little actually hot actually
jo: eh, that's cool
jill: what's that about Maya angelou walking somewhere?
jo: wha?
jill: pedestrian? oh fugedaboudit
jill: it wasn't funny
jo: bah HA!
jill: weep
jo: sure it was, little champ!
jo: buck up.
jill: more like 'fuck up'
jo: if that'll help you.
jill: give me a command I can comply with for crissake
jo: eh, piss off!
jill: whore
jo: was busy...um...
jill: fucking somebody no doubt
jo: masturbating! yes, that's the ticket!
jill: ha
jill: whom were you masturbating?
jo: don't you GO THERE
jill: already there sweetheart
jill: Ms. "everybody is my type"
jo: not [singularly unattractive person we used to work with].
jill: 'everybody but [s.u.p.w.u.t.w.w.] is my type'
jill: '[s.u.w.u.t.w.w.], and [mighty creepy coworker who had a nasty habit of slapping women on the ass with a rolled up newsletter when passing by]
jo: i'd take on [m.c.c.w.h.a.n.h.o.s.w.o.t.a.w.a.r.u.n.w.p.b] just to desert him at the right moment
jo: just to insult his withered loins
jill: I bet he could beatcha to it
jo: grody.
jill: I can't type snorting out the nose
jill: onomatopoeiically I mean
jill: oh it's time for me to get into pajamas
jill: and watch harry potter and the pensioner of uzbekistan
jo: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
jo: heart you very much
jo: is that a...foreign film?
jill: something like that
jill: talk to you soon.
jill: love you
jo: okay, smooches
jo: love you too