In which I display perhaps too much thanks for what I've got ...

Well, this is the big Jewish holiday season, and we seem to spend half our waking hours in the synagogue ... Last night we went to the family service for Sukkot (Feast of the Tabernacles! i.e. harvest holiday). The family services are generally laid-back affairs, so while the Jellybean was in the mood for a quite dressy little get-up (she wore the outfit shown here), Howie and I dressed more casually. Because the woodland fairies who do all our laundry have apparently been on strike for a month or two, I had dug out of my closet that morning a seldom-worn shirtwaist dress of brown corduroy, with brass buttons from collar to hem. The night air is already starting to get a little chilly around here, so I threw on my denim jacket on the way out the door ...

We arrived at the synagogue in good time, and entered the sanctuary ... as we went up the side aisle and across the front, I scanned the assembled congregants looking around for one of the Jellybean's friends from school. We don't know many people at the synagogue, so it was more or less a sea of unfamiliar faces. Coming from the cool parking lot, the sanctuary seemed quite warm, so I started unbuttoning my denim jacket.

Except, as it happens, my jacket hadn't been buttoned at all.

When I started to feel rather more ventilated than I expected, I had the sudden realization that I had gone about a third of the way to taking my dress off while standing more or less directly in front of the pulpit of the sanctuary. I had, I believe, four buttons undone: from between my breasts to about navel level.

So, at that point, I decided to just put the machine in reverse and button up. Good decision, you think?

The entire incident was substantially enhanced by the fact that I was engaged in plenty of eye contact with the congregation while disrobing.

Howie was behind me as we were walking and didn't realize what had happened--by the time we reached our seat I was buttoning the last button and choking with laughter. He didn't realize until hours later exactly how many buttons I had undone ...

And no, I didn't get a lot of friendly overtures from the male congregants at the juice-and-cookies break after the service. Perhaps I ought to make a mental note to wear fancier brassieres when stripping in the synagogue ...

Comments

[zeno]

Heeeeeee...

[Lee]

- at least you didn't do it when the arc is opened to reveal the Torah scroll......no, wait....there would have been people singing and rejoycing, maybe that would have been more appropriate.

[Aurora]

Oh dear God! That's about the funniest thing, although I'm sorry it happened to you. It sounds just like something I would have done.

[Summer]

Oh my, oh my. And I thought I was naughty for causing a young Catholic priest to blush and wriggle uncomfortably by nursing Dorian across the table from him at Hospitality Hour after Mass. You've totally got me beat. After all, the Virgin Mary breastfed the infant Jesus, and I don't think that even Mary Magdalen did a striptease in the temple.

Maybe this is why women were segregated to a sheltered part of the temple during the first several thousand years of Judaism....

[Jo]

The glory of this sordid little anecdote is in no way dulled by the fact that I learned of it some hours ago -- every time I think about it, I ruin my mascara, weeping with laughter.

Oh God. Even now, there goes the Maybelline.

[Mir]

Yes, what Jo said, except that I am not wearing mascara. ;)

[Mindy]

Is it evil of me to picture you walking along with a slow smile and a sway to your hips?

I laughed soooooo hard when you called last night, and I am glad you blogged it. If you didn't, I was going to have to! Heeeeee! Bitch!

[April]

Bwahahahaha. That was so funny. I am so sorry it happened to you, but bwahahaha. I can't help myself.

[tam]

I do not know anyone else who would have turned this phrase so beautifully: "When I started to feel rather more ventilated than I expected..."

That is a very hilarious tale, and of course I'm sure now even if you "don't know many people at the Synagogue," they know you!!! (See also #94 of Century Jill and relevant posted comments.)

[tam]

PS--when I say "very hilarious tale," I mean that I almost snorted out my coffee and was doubled over laughing out loud, in a gasping kind of way. Also desperately wishing I had been a witness to your display of your personal bounty (in keeping with the spirit of a harvest holiday, I suppose?)...

[jenB]

THAT is so excellent. Or dare I say sexcellent. I could totally see myself doing it as well. You rule.

[science chick]

Me thinks that exhibitionism has reach a unique pinacle....

[Toni]

I LOVE IT!!! Thanks for the laugh!

[domin8trix]

*wiping tears away* ahhh! awesome! i agree with jenB - so very sexcellent!!