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Sunday, 02 May 2004


science chick

Yes, it certainly is amazing how that first time truly alone with the little one is burned into my brain like a blinding laser.

Coming home from work as usual at 6:00pm....except that for the past 5 weeks work now includes pumping milk every 3 hours and wrestling through the myriad of childcare uncertainties that my dear little infant and I had to brave at the ripe age of 7 weeks so Mommy could return to the lab and finish her Ph.D. Park the car, trudge up the stairs with the carseat/diaper bag and wailing tiny person waiting to be fed. Something is different....oh, yeah, spouse is away. No, wait, that isn't all....sounds like rushing water. No, can't stop to worry about it....must nurse, must nurse, must nurse. Mammary out, sit and rock.....what IS that sound???? 30 minutes later, breast once again secured in the monstrous 34JJ nursing bra (you read right, that's "JJ"). What IS THAT WATER SOUND?!

A little detective work revealed that a pipe had burst and the entire basement and study were sitting in 3 inches of water. After calling the Fire Department, I only hoped my breast wouldn't have to be whipped out while they were working.


You know, I thought it would be different the second time around...11 years between my two kids...but it's the same. It's the same and different because there's more ME to be displaced, I'm more solidly me than I was a decade ago and I have a stronger sense of hwat I want to be doing with my time and while I love mothering, love it with a stomach-flipping abandon, I also want to be able to flip a switch a few times a day and let us enter a vacuum where I needn't be so needed. And some sleep without baby attached to my breasts would be a bonus.

Julia S

Oh my god, yes yes YES.

Breastfeeding also hurt like a m*therf*ck*r for the first two months. It was all so awful, like being tortured, and yet so wonderful, like getting the thing you desired most in the world, at the same time.

I was a jumpy mess for the first year. Now I get happier every day.

Now I want another baby.


Ohhh, I thought of you this morning in bed... HEY *snap snap* Not that way!

Remember how I've recently gone from "don't offer, don't refuse" to refusing sometimes if Daphne wants to nurse during the night? Well...

I was snuggling with her as she was waking up, and she looked thoughtful for a moment, and then turned to me looking very sad, and asked...

"Mommy, why you say "no mama?'"



How is it that I haven't managed to add you to my favorites list yet?!

I wanted to let you know I responded to your comment in Jo's blog.

You rock, and now I'll have to find some time to plow through your blog.


Breastfeeding HURT like hell, as if my skin were being ripped away. I'd sit there with tears running down my face until, o bliss, I would finally get the baby attached the right way. When I turned the corner after a month and it stopped hurting, the angels sang.

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