That wasn't really gross. THIS is really gross ...

Did you ever flash a memory--a tiny detail of a slippery little memory-shred--that just oozes with the nasty, gritty, smelly side o'life? Hey--me too! When the memory is some horrid thing I've done, it makes me want to crawl under my desk and suck my toes. But when it's about the ickiness of others--not me!--well that just rocks.

It was a dark and sto I was walking down the street minding my ow Look, I don't remember what the hell I was doing, but I suddenly remembered yesterday something that my ex-Whatever, C, whom you might remember from this story, used to do. He was very tall. Quite very rather remarkably tall. And he habitually deposited the results of nosepicking on top of door frames. Since I'm totally average woman-height, you may wonder how I know this. Well, he told me, that's how. And then I checked (which required a chair). Yep.

If this spurs any memories of revolting habits of people you know, I'd be only too delighted to see them in Comments. Only the habits of others, please. None of us would stoop so low ...

Comments

[Jo]

Okeydokey, I got one, not dissimilar to Mister Drills-for-oil Tall Guy. My pal A., ensconced in his filthy cell-like dorm room, would relieve the tension and boredom of freshman year by, you know, manually stimulating himself to climax. I know, I know. But I have read that this is totally normal.

However.

A. was not content simply to pleasure himself. Aiming his spooge at a particular spot on the wall above his bed, he curated a Museum of Crusted Jizz all of his own making.

Nobody would have found out about it, if he hadn't admitted it freely, the next year.

[myllissa]

My husband is a picker as well. He picks while he drives the car, and flicks the booger on the floor, where the pedals are. I drive in sandals, or sometimes even barefoot if my heels are too high to drive with. Boogers on my feet. Yuck. He also does that farmer blow thing in the shower. How disgusting is that!?

[alice]

I had an ex who used to "farmer" whilst jogging. And yet I left him!

Also he got another woman pregnant. So it was that, plus the farmering.

[Julia S]

I have averted my eyes from any tales of, ahem, peculiarities that people may have chosen to share. I, Jilbur, am a hot-house flower when it comes to all things scatological. Jellybean, by the way, is adorable. Delicious. A muffin.

Anyway, I can empathize with sudden memories that are practically paralyzing. It's what keeps me awake at night.

[Mamarama]

Well...my first husband admitted to me that as a boy, he and all his friends frequently relieved themselves in the corner of his best friend's room. Apparently, the best friend suggested it, and it was much better to go with it than to miss your turn on Super Mario Brothers or whatever. I can't imagine the stench.

[Lee]

A person I used to work with would lick their finger tips before touching anything, which didn't bug me at first. At lunch one day, before grabbing the "community" bread at a local Macaroni Grille, he licked his fingers and then broke the bread for everyone to eat. I wasn't the only that stared blankly at the bread.

[grace]

My ex was a tobacco chewer. He was too lazy to properly dispose of the "dip" and empty his spit bottle, so he'd leave them all over the house. Sometimes he fell asleep with tobacco in his mouth and he'd drool all over the pillows.