I'm addlepated. I can't keep up. I've got less than a week left at work, and it's bizarre to me to consider that within days my quotidian routine is going to be drastically altered. (Hey, I worked 'quotidian' into my post!) But that's not all that's on my mind. It's just that I'm not blogging about the 'all' that is on my mind. Confused yet? I am.
1. Although I have the usual 100% delusional picture of how I'll spend my precious two weeks of leisure, unhappily I have the maturity to be fully aware that the energetic days of house organizing, yoga, meditation, bread baking and healthy meal preparation--interspersed with relaxed, joyful hours spent with my child--are likely to continue to exist only in the realm of my febrile imagination. A more realistic picture of the next two weeks--well, where's that film stock with the flipping calendar pages? yeah--like that.
2. I am refusing to mourn the job I'm leaving. That's gonna cost me. I'm leaving a familiar environment, where I've laid down a massy chunk of hours for the past almost three years. So I really am obliged to cope with the truth: leaving this job is going to entail a substantial adjustment for me. I don't take my work terribly seriously (it's useful work, and I enjoy it and try to do it well--but really: we don't get scenes from ER with the preservation people and the catalogers rushing the gilt-tooled moroccan-bound volumes with their gauffred edges and marbled endpapers through the hallway on a gurney: Quick! It's acid paper! Prepare the alkaline bath and freeze-drier!). Still, I've been cavalier in my assumption that I can walk away with a cinematic nonchalance.
3. I got nuthin.' I feel all dried up. Oh sure--maybe it's because I wrote 48 haikus yesterday for the Haiku Smackdown. I can see how that could dessicate a girl. But beyond 5-7-5, I'm not very juiced.
4. I suck at making lists. I never get far past the first 3. So maybe that eensie little 4 signals impending progress! heh.
1. Yeah, happened to me too. Nothing but commiseration on that one.
2. Yep, a substantial structural change -- but you'll replace work with school, and that will provide a different structure. Onward and upward, always.
3. 48?! Give yourself a refractory period, girlfriend! You aren't seventeen anymore! Gotta give it a little rest before the juice returns.
4. My lists never get past 3 either.
Posted by: Jo | Friday, 07 May 2004 at 07:26 PM
I have finally worked up the nerve to say this out loud: I will be at Take Our Children to Work day until 4:30 (!!!!!) EST this Thursday!!! The horrors! The DTs! How will I resist muscling my way past the teachers of the School of Music and Arts, where the festivities are to be held (um, do I WORK there? Noooo.) and taking over the Director's computer....
Hey, this sounds like a post! *highlight, copy, paste*
Posted by: Mindy | Wednesday, 12 May 2004 at 04:34 AM