Mommy has a headache, sweetie

Well: here's something kind of annoying ...

Here are a few tips to ease Mom's pain:

• Give Mom some "me time" when she feels a migraine coming on. But not unless. If she's not squinting at the lights, pale with pain, or vomiting, her ass is yours.


• Make sure that Mom's favorite pain medications are stocked. She doesn't like Johnny Walker and she doesn't like Miller Lite. It's Maker's Mark or Anchor Liberty Ale, depending on Mommy's mood. And Mommy does not like Cabernet, kid. Oregon pinot noir, any old vines Zinfandel, or a Russian River Valley fumé blanc are better bets.


• Help Mom identify her migraine triggers. These might include: pharmaceutical marketing ploys disguised as concern for her 'quality of life'; stereotypes of mothering that make her want to tear her eyeballs out; and paying almost three times as much* for the acetaminophen, just for the privilege of getting a little caffeine thrown in--she would happily chase her pill with a good cup of coffee instead.


• Make a modest effort at keeping that creeping note of condescension out of your voice. Mom may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but--well, you know women's intuition--she can tell when someone is talking down to her.

*Didn't grab this figure out of my butt--based on price comparison of Excedrin vs. CVS Extra-Strength Acetaminophen, both with cheapest price per pill available at cvs.com

Comments

[Jo]

As my sister used to say of her Camel Lights:
"Now go get Mommy's health sticks!"

But -- if you're really a Mommy, how do you have time to blog? And why aren't you writing about your children? And if you write about your children, why aren't you spending time with them?

(Ha ha ha. It's the homeopathic approach to migraine prevention -- maybe if I trickle in the triggering stereotypes, you won't get a real migraine! See how smart I am?)

I'll take that Cabernet.

P.S. That's a sexy brain there! God, I love it when you can see right through the skull...hhhot.

(now I'm creeping myself out.)

[alice]

I think the migraines might be brought on be the guilt you feel about blogging instead of tending to your poor, needy child.

Now go make a pot pie, darn some curtains, and smile like you mean it.

(I'm being homeopathic, too! Hey, this is fun!)

[Tam]

have you tried combining the acetaminophen *with* the pinot noir?...

(i'm not a doctor, i just play one on t.v.)

from the article you linked:
"Some common triggers include foods like chocolate and aged cheese, MSG, alcohol, bright lights and lack of sleep."

Um, this sounds like a party to me.
?
Does this mean that if you are a mother and you party, you will earn yourself a migraine? That sucks.

[jilbur]

You all are such an inspiration to me.

I'm scheduling a 'moms and friends of moms full-migraine rave,' featuring full-color brain mri light shows; espresso bar; wine bar with your maître d'hôtel Robert Parker; chocolates courtesy of zchocolat; dim sum; and plenty of fruit and cheese platters scattered throughout.

there will be a locked, sound-proofed room to tether all the kids in (no worries, once they get tired of screaming they'll be fine), and another room at a far remove--dark and cool, with a box of icepacks, and wall-to-wall futons furnished with 300-lb long-staple Egyptian cotton sheets and a box of ice-packs, where we'll all sleep it off.

I need suggestions for music and MCs, though. While Eminem suggests 'moms w/migraines,' somehow his history of domestic violence just spoils the mood for me.

[OliviaDrab]

I imagine the marketing meeting the day they came up with this.

"Looks like Excedrin sales have dropped. How do we fix this?"
"We could market the bottle as an Easter egg. Easter is coming, the kids love the bunny."
"No, too religious-based. What else do we have?"
"How about a zesty Cinco de Mayo edition in festive decorator colors?"
"It would be too costly to reprint the bottle labels. What can we do to minimize printing costs?"
"Sayyyyy.. Mother's Day is coming. I know Mother's Day gives every woman I KNOW a headache!"
"Yeah, we can target the kids to BUY it for Mommy!"
"Brilliant!"

[Julia S]

"allow her to spend more time doing the thing[s] she loves—helping her manage her migraines."

It seems to me if the kid is just freeing up my time so I can continue to think about my migraines I would rather have the homemade ashtray. I could use it for paperclips or my cigars or something.

[Michelle]

My mom had ordered a book for my son, that is called When Mommy has a headache. It's about a lion family whose mother gets migraines. She got it off a website and we currently don't speak. I am looking for the website to get one for my son who is now in Kindergarten. Any suggestions