Pink Lady!
Tickle Me Pink!
Here's Pink In Your Eye!
So many fun and silly ways to introduce the subject of conjunctivitis. And no, it's not the Jellybean. It's me.
It was yesterday afternoon that I started noticing that I was viewing the world through a misty veil of snot. I had a look and there is was, in the right eye: unmistakeably, pink all over the eyeball and yes! a pink conjunctiva!
Let's all sing together, shall we?
Conjunctiva Junction, what's your function?
Keepin' your eyeball all safe and comfy!
Except right now it's not. And my eye is all swollen and porcine looking. My peepers are among my best features, ya know. We've already established the strength of The Towering Edifice That Is My Vanity, and I can assure you that this condition has felled it with a single mighty blow.
So I trotted off to the doctor to acquire my prescription for ophthalmic antibiotic drops, and decided to bring it to a certain megastore popular for their cheap, trendy homewares and the amusement occasioned by pretending that the name of the store ought to be pronounced à la français, because the one near me had a pharmacy, and I had some trendy homewares to purchase, or failing that, covers for the ThermoScan (no sharing of earwax chez moi!).
When I handed the script to the clerk, she furrowed her brow at it and typed into her little computer and furrowed and consulted with pharmacist and pharmacist furrowed and they shelf-checked and furrowed and consulted and shelf-checked and furrowed some more. Then the clerk came back to where I was waiting and announced: "It's out of stock. But we can have it for you in two days."
Two days?
I'd be interested in knowing: how many people want to wait two days before they start treating a bacterial infection?
Ooooh! Sign me up! I am just breathless with anticipation, wondering what color the discharge will be by then, and how many of my family members wake up with their eyes glued shut!
Now if you'll excuse me, the doctor instructed me to autoclave everything I might have touched within the past three days.