pleased to report!

Abandon any hope of fruition.
Man, I love that one. I love how it sounds all grim and inexorable, but under its obstinate and flinty shell, there's just Life is not about winning something. It's just what you're getting, moment to moment. It's precious--icing is superfluous.

In other words: Better. Not giddy, not overflowing with joy. But, definitely an improvement. Earlier this evening, I actually chanted aloud my hatred for contour sheets as I wrestled to get our guest room prepared for my dad and stepmother, who stopped over tonight on their way elsewhere, and then tried to fold the rest of the load of laundry. Contour sheets were invented just to torment me, I know it deep within the marrow of my bones. And I even have a reasonable strategy for folding them--it's just that my perfectly sane, rational strategy doesn't work, because the sheet knows what's coming and does a little spasmodic performance just when I'm trying to get all the corners folded into each other.

But still--that's the sheet's problem, not mine. I do not have to choose to take on the neurosis of my bed linens. I have other, better ways to expend my energies.

For instance, today I made challah. This recipe almost got lost. It was my great-grandmother's recipe, and the same challah was made by her daughter, my great-aunt. Aunt Rita died about two years ago, and though she'd given me the recipe long ago, of course I'd lost it. Neither of my sisters had it, but Aunt Rita's daughter-in-law did, and she gave me the recipe--just a list of ingredients. The original recipe is for something like six loaves--calls for five pounds of flour. A "baking of bread"--I guess that's why the bags are five pounds ... I adapted it for the bread machine, to make a measly two loaves. It's unlike any other challah I've ever had. A very fine, stiff crumb.

Bubbi's Challah
1 2/3 lb. white flour
2 eggs (+ 1 yolk later, for glaze)
1/4 c. sugar
1/4 c. oil
1 1/2 tsp. yeast
1 tsp salt
1 tsp chernishke (also called black caraway seed, or kolonji--available through penzeys.com)
About 1 1/3 c. water, depending on conditions

Put ingredients in bread machine, liquid first (start with 1 c. water and check during the first kneading to adjust for a soft, springy dough). Put machine on 'dough' setting. At the end of the cycle, punch down, knead briefly, and form into two loaves. Let rise in bread pans until doubled in bulk. Beat an egg yolk with a pinch of salt and a Tbl water and brush tops of loaves. Bake at 350°F for about 35 minutes, or until nicely browned and, you know, done.

P.S. The part about this baking of challah that brings it right back to the sphere of my daily chaotic messiness is this: yeah, I set about making the dough, when I had a half dozen other things going on--including my sheet-wrestling match--and forgot all about it, twice. I didn't get the loaves into the oven until almost midnight. And here I am, in the wee hours, about to get the loaves out of the pan to cool off so that I can stagger off to bed. But: it's all good. Challah for breakfast tomorrow!

Comments

[Chris]

Glad to hear things are a bit better. And now I'm hungry!

[Mir]

Hurray for "better," and we'll stay tuned for "downright good."

This weekend, you must make french toast with that challah. Trust me. You'll die happy. ;)

[Suzyn]

Besides my secret pride in my soft elbows, admitted here several posts ago, and so not so secret anymore, I can fold pocket sheets (as we call them in the Midwest) like a champion calf wrangler. I even get my pocket sheets confused with the flat sheet in the linen closet, that's how good they are. See, when you consume downlow eliminators, you experience pride, rather than panic, in the mundane.

Have a nice weekend with your dad and stepmother, Jill!

[Lee]

You know, if you read "contour sheet" as "contour map", your post is just as funny.

[Mindy]

Oooh! Oooh! I totally have a method for folding contour sheets. I heard it some damn place, and never believed it would work, but hot damn, it does. But if you know how to make challah bread, you probably know the sheet secret too.

And yes to the challah french toast. Had it in Miami (of course). Was divine.

[Jenn]

Frankly, anyone who actually knows how to fold a contour sheet "properly" and make it look like a flat sheet, well, they scare me. It's just not right. it's like actually making oil and water mix. It just goes against nature.

As for your challah... it sounds like a morning battle cry:

"Prepare! Tonight we sleep, but tomorrow...CHALLAH FOR BREAKFAST! Whooooot!"

[max]

Who got the recipe from Aunt Rita's sister-in law? And you say I never comment.

[jilbur]

See? it worked! For all of you out there who may be interested in who exactly found out that my great aunt's daughter-in-law had the challah recipe, and retrieved it from oblivion: it was, in fact, my younger sister Maxine, who rarely comments on her sister's blog over which so many labors and so much sweat is expended, and who therefore deserves none of the glory!

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