in the pink!

Pink Lady!
Tickle Me Pink!
Here's Pink In Your Eye!

So many fun and silly ways to introduce the subject of conjunctivitis. And no, it's not the Jellybean. It's me.

It was yesterday afternoon that I started noticing that I was viewing the world through a misty veil of snot. I had a look and there is was, in the right eye: unmistakeably, pink all over the eyeball and yes! a pink conjunctiva!

Let's all sing together, shall we?
Conjunctiva Junction, what's your function?
Keepin' your eyeball all safe and comfy!

Except right now it's not. And my eye is all swollen and porcine looking. My peepers are among my best features, ya know. We've already established the strength of The Towering Edifice That Is My Vanity, and I can assure you that this condition has felled it with a single mighty blow.

So I trotted off to the doctor to acquire my prescription for ophthalmic antibiotic drops, and decided to bring it to a certain megastore popular for their cheap, trendy homewares and the amusement occasioned by pretending that the name of the store ought to be pronounced à la français, because the one near me had a pharmacy, and I had some trendy homewares to purchase, or failing that, covers for the ThermoScan (no sharing of earwax chez moi!).

When I handed the script to the clerk, she furrowed her brow at it and typed into her little computer and furrowed and consulted with pharmacist and pharmacist furrowed and they shelf-checked and furrowed and consulted and shelf-checked and furrowed some more. Then the clerk came back to where I was waiting and announced: "It's out of stock. But we can have it for you in two days."

Two days?

I'd be interested in knowing: how many people want to wait two days before they start treating a bacterial infection?

Ooooh! Sign me up! I am just breathless with anticipation, wondering what color the discharge will be by then, and how many of my family members wake up with their eyes glued shut!

Now if you'll excuse me, the doctor instructed me to autoclave everything I might have touched within the past three days.

Comments

[Mir]

Ewwwww yuck, pink eye is the worst. Perhaps another Tar-jhay had it in stock? I hope? Get better soon... and please don't touch me or anything near me until then....

[Melissa]

You forgot 'Pretty In Pink'.

See, you have to take the lemons and make lemonade Ms Conjunctivitis. I love you in pink!

[Melissa]

Drinks, you need drinks.

The http://www.drinkstreet.com/searchresults.cgi?drinkid=594&drinkname=category:8 target=blank>Pink Lady

or even the http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/692 target=blank>Pink Squirrel

[Chris]

I'm just impressed you worked "autoclave" into a post. That, my friend, takes talent. I've never had the pink eye...and I'll be scrubbing down my keyboard and monitor after I comment just to make sure. And two days? No. Go somewhere else.

[Lee]

I could poke you in the other eye to make it red. At least they'll match. Maybe I'll start calling you Pinky Tuscadero.....

[Oliquig]

I had pink eye last year, and wondered from where on Earth it came, no small child I knew got it, just me.

[myllissa]

Ewww. I know you went to another pharmacy, right? Pink eye is the worst. All that mucus....

[Angie]

Oh ouch. Pink eye hurts and it goes around all the time. Don't worry it goes away fast, you will probably be over it by the time you get your medicine!

[jenB]

if i could i would autoclave everything i touch pink eye or not. i am becoming a germophobe. next year i will be wearing kleenex boxes as shoes, just you wait.

[pam]

Ugh. I got pinkeye, and I know for a fact it was from rubbing my eye after touching a dollar bill (because of the immediate, scary burning sensation). Get well soon!

[anne]

We will walk on coals
or let ninjas fight us
but we don't want to have
conjunctivitis!!

(uhm. i totally stole that from an 80s sitcom)